


That's bullshit in any language

by HanebiHargreeves



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-18
Updated: 2020-09-18
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:34:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26520721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HanebiHargreeves/pseuds/HanebiHargreeves
Summary: "Men cannot flee from their destiny."It is basically what the Handler meant by Qué será será.But for those who have lived before, during, after, despite and after despite.  It's rubbish.It seemed like her words made sense, that the committee really knew what it was doing and there is a way things should be.  But even if they wanted to use math to prove it like that.  The committee's decisions seemed completely random.  He sensed it but didn't want to accept it yet, because all his hardships would have meant nothing.Hmmm I'm a spanish speaker. Sorry for the broken english. I hope you like it and I hope you could leave a comment.
Relationships: Number Five | The Boy (Umbrella Academy)/Reader
Comments: 1
Kudos: 4





	1. 1

-There are plenty of your reasons that I don't understand. Why did you come back? Was it really because of your family or was saving the world that matters? Did you came back just to help them? or because you love them?.-

Those words hit the brain of your interlocutor like a gold lingot adorned with a lemon peel. Effect only achieved by the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster, which was very far from this part of the universe.

-What do you mean by that?-. He replied annoyed, you were sitting next to a window, in front of you there was a young adult. You were wearing a white blouse and ankle-length skirt. -Well, if you have powers that go beyond reason, and you are capable of leasing with the physical laws that bind everyone else, shouldn't you understand that these are simply events that had to happen in a certain order so that your brothers and everyone else should simply disappear? .-

-What?- He said sissing, with a very pissed off look. You had spent the afternoon listening to his fantastic story. As an assistant to the chef editor at a science fiction publishing house, you thought the young man was trying to sell you his story. Mostly because of the effort he made to make it seem real, he probably wanted to give it a transmedia approach. You thought that perhaps it could work, uploading an internet page, a video game for smartphones and several Facebook pages would sell well too, you saw the future and it was probably easily adapted to the cinema or to a series, you even thought about the fanfiction. If you hadn't detected so many narrative problems… Which on the other hand gave realism to these misfits.  
The expression on Five, the pseudonym under which he introduced himself, made it clear that he couldn't believe what he was hearing. But that's how new artists are, they live in their stories, their delirium. And it's understandable. You began talking again. -What Mr. Reginald told Diego, seems to me, it's true for everyone. But at least he's honest about it. In all their actions, these guys are all marked by their father, it’s really their main drive to act.-  
You felt a slight guilt, someone so fanatical about their own creation had to put a lot of himself into it, so probably Diego, Klaus, Vanya and all of the others were just a human personification of a hurt part of his adolescence. -Excuse me for telling you this but even with fifty-something years you went to your father for advice. A man who was not older than you in his timeline. Even in the middle of all that conspiracy. You chose to believe in him. -

The young man seemed somewhat nervous, he was sweating a bit and his eyebrows were narrowing in a strange way. -Are you from the association?- he said sweating - Is this a new kind of psychological attack?-. These clarifications gave you a bad feeling, but you decided to joke: -Do you see me with a briefcase?-. It didn't seem to work as you liked. His face showed a terrible aversion and you felt fear. You took your things and left enough money to pay for your coffees, on the table.

-I think it is an excellent work of fiction, Mr. Five. But I think you should solve your problems and calm down a bit before you want to publish it. I don't know what had happened to you to come up with all this but it seems to me that with a good medication and a correct edition you could go far. You are still young and you could even have a great future as an author. But I can't work with someone in your current state.- You took your card out of the bag and gave it to him somewhat shakily. His face changed from rage to disbelief and you left a bit angry and scared.

He scrutinized the white card, it was made with a fancy paper. It had “Dark Horse Books" printed in black. -In my dimension these are "comics" instead of books - he smiled. He hit his head on the table "> your last name <,> your first name <",> phone number <,> office address <.

He realizedrealizado were just a smart girl. -She's probably right. Maybe in all this time I have just lived as a scared child under the table of a man who is not even my father, but the one from Sparrow Academy. After all, even the idiot Luther decided to make his life of his own in this world ...-.  
Five called Diego. -Hello brother, another Apocalypse? - Five heard a tone that wanted to be playful but actually sounded concerned. -None, I just want to chat. Are you available for dinner? .-. Five had started college not long ago. Mr. Hargreeves had gotten the adoption papers of Five just as he would have been one of the boys he previously adopted. So everyone was amazed when that young man who looked about 20 "was actually 34".  
When you were at home doing office work, you were surprised to know that your appointment for that day had been canceled and that you had stayed all afternoon listening to a poor schizophrenic or drug addict speak.


	2. 2

The uneasiness of the meeting with the boy passed and a few weeks later you had time in your schedule for a new interview with the young man who was supposed to arrive on that occasion. You have had coffee and the middle-aged man left. 

Nothing out of the ordinary. More stories about zombies and society, it would be edited because it was an acquaintance of the manager. You were beginning to rethink working with that strange young man and his story. You remembered that sometime in your teens you heard about some babies that were born a without their mothers having been pregnant. And a kind of low-profile superhero league that most people took as a hoax to divert attention from things like Watergate, the White House affair among other things.

Probably if the boy was right you were looking at an excellent informant. And it could be an amazingly revealing book ... Especially with all the mythology surrounding JFK. You turned to the window and the young man was watching you from the other block. That again, gave you the chills. You saw him cross the street. It was fortunate that your cup did not have more than the sip you took or you would have spilled it all over yourself.

The young man sat in front of you, the husband of the owner of the cafeteria asked the young man what he wanted. The boy looked stunned. "HAZEL?" The man looked at him for a moment, because that was his ñame but the man was no acquaintance of him. "Excuse me young man, I don't remember meeting you." The boy laughed. -Don't worry, you reminded me of a friend, but it can't be you. It's good to see you anyways.- The man served their coffee somewhat puzzled and walked to talk to his wife, the woman turned her head the table and denied knowing him. Ultimately, neither of them knew who the young man was. This definitely raised several questions but you didn't know which ones. Mostly mportant, what would the young man talk about now?.

You were silent for a while. Five had his hands in his pockets. And you kept looking at the street. You saw how the steam from the coffee made waves above the cup. Again you wear a shirt and skirt. This time a white one with polka dots. Nothing that you could know of but the boy had been a bundle of confusion the last few days. He was not very enthusiast about human company, but he decided to separate from all his previous life experiences and for this he began studying economics. So meeting you at that moment in those clothes made him really dubious about why he was talking to you. Was he really addicted to the apocalypse as you and Diego said?.

Tired of the silence, you asked him a question that seemed uncomfortable for both of you. -The previous time, you only told me your nickname, Mr. Hmmm.- The man looked at you with surprise and smiled at you. -Francis... Reginald, Hargreeves.- you raised your eyebrows. Behind all that delirium, the young man did not look like a Reginald, although on a second thought he dressed like an upper-class young man. He was probably one of those rich young men whose excessive education, gets them a little upset with the world before they should be done with it. -You can call me Frank ... or Five. My siblings, they usually call me Five. So as not to be confused with my father. - The young man seemed somewhat annoyed.

-Oh, it's okay Frank. -, -What do you think of the proposal? . Despite the trust that the young man had placed in you, there was something that prevented you from treating him as a young man of his age. He obviously was not over 23. You didn't know if it was his story, where he is over 60 years old, if it was perhaps his possible mental illness or the aura of presumption that accompanied him.

-Ohhh. I discussed some of that with some of my siblings. They do not agree.- You imagined him sitting at an empty table like the last supper. Except he was just talking to himself. -I see you still don't believe me.-, the young man took out his phone and showed you a picture of him with his family. You could see a huge man, a condecorated policeman, a renowned violinist, an underground model who had worked for several covers with your publishing house, an actress who had just won an Oscar and the little brother. Now that you saw him next to all his family, his story was starting to make a little more sense. Besides, they were all obviously different. Now you thought that the young man could not be more than 21 ... And that it must be difficult to be good by the side of those successful siblings.

The young man seemed to guess your thoughts or maybe it was the pious look you gave him. -Whatever you are thinking, is not the case. I just study for fun. I actually work in a government agency. And believe it or not, for a couple of years I have been in therapy for the post traumatic stress that living so many years alone caused me. Stranded at the end of the world Dolores!-. The young man clapped his mouth quickly, that seemed to hurt. He turned completely red. You didn't know if it was because of the hit or if he had said something embarrassing. While he was telling you his story, his subconscious was quite careful to hide all the details from you about his wife, named Dolores.

And that was. Curiously, the point that he had discussed earlier days with his psychologist, apparently he had not understood (or had not wanted to understand) that the talk he had with you reminded him of his Wife. Only this time, it was really a person outside of himself who answered him with such sharpness and intelligence. And he wasn't going to accept it.

Not knowing all that internal debate, you took another sip of the coffee. "My name is in case you are interested." You said upset. He lowered his hands from his face, it was completely red. -Yes, I know , I just remembered someone while talking to you. - There was no going back after that statement. "Thank you for taking an interest in my story and for listening to a complete stranger say nonsensical things." He now seemed like a completely different person. This boy's range of emotions is a carnival.

-Don't worry, it's part of my job. To tell the truth, I confused you with a young writer and I was quite tough because he is a recommended person to whom we must publish.-. You smiled at him. Apparently the young man liked your comment. -Wow, I must be flattered then.-, -Pretty much actually. We are a very famous publisher present all over the world.-, -And timelines ... it's a joke.-. The young man said when he saw your expression. -For such and such a reason. I look very young. But I think there is something that is not clear to you ... I am also 34. I am not really a young person.- Five had decided to start living according to the age of his brothers. Since he had that opportunity.

You had a pleasant talk, and exchanged phones with the young man. Since the one he had was your work phone number. Probably something good had come out of this confusion. It had gotten quite late, and you had to be on the other side of the city. To finish a part of the work you needed to get up early the next day, a taxi would cost you a lot. The young man saw your concern. -I can take you home, if you want,-. He said with a mischievous smile. You didn't know what he was planning. But you accepted, and walked with him to a parking lot, while you were walking, he asked your address and places near your house, -Oh! I understand, near <>> and that <<< >>>, of course I do know what building you are talking about.- He said while rubbing his chin and doing some imaginary calculations in the air. Being quite far from people, he asked you to take him tightly by the arm. You took it and suddenly you felt something pull you back. You closed your eyes. Next, you were in front of your building.

"What had just happened?" You saw him up, he was a little taller than you and he had a mocking laugh. -I'm sorry that teleportation is not a gift that everyone has. But at least you already tried, right? -. You felt how your intestines took their place again and you got a bit nauseous. You ran to some nearby bushes but you were lucky that you weren't as sick as you thought. You wiped yourself with your sleeve. And you thanked him a bit puzzled. You saw him inquisitively. You had so many questions, but none seemed prudent to be the first. He laughed. He actually seemed like he was quite nice and smart when he wasn't an arrogant know-it-all. If all the things he said to you were true, then he probably did know a lot more than your average citizen.

He accompanied you to your door, said goodbye to you with a kiss on the cheek. He disappeared in front of you with a beam of blue light. Now you had an existential crisis knowing that the world had already ended twice in a past and a future that were actually the past of the present that you lived. And that was nothing at all digestible. After seven years working without missing a single day due to illness, you decided to take a week of unforeseen rest.


End file.
